ok, watchin trl today and i see some limp bizkit fan request their hit single "nookie" (not the one written by george michael), be number one over the backstreet boys. the fan then continues on to say [and i quote] "limp bizkit will kick all of the backstreet boys' asses" (im pretty sure each backstreet boy only has one ass, but ill check on it...). this got me to thinking, would limp bizkit really win in a physical altercation with the backstreet boys? after pondering this question (for like 5 seconds) i came up with the conclusion that backstreet boys would actually win over limp bizkit in a fight. i will continue to give my reasoning.

at first, each musical group seems fair to put against each other, but there are several factors you must consider before coiming to that conclusion for yourself. yes, they both have the same amount of people, but really, i think a couple members of limp bizkit must be "cancelled out", if you will. DJ Lethal: while Limp Bizkit would have you believe that they have a DJ in their band to increase their so-called "hip-hopness" (?), DJ Lethal, ex house of pain member, is nothing more than window-dressing for this band, it makes Fred Durst, lead singer, feel as if he is more of a rapper if he has some guy playing around with turntables in the background. The harsh reality of it though is that DJ Lethal does almost nothing in the band, and absolutely nothing for their music. He can be seen many'a'times in their videos and live performances dancing and "bee-bopping" around in back of his setup and scratching some records, but you dont hear any sounds coming from his area of the band, i have only really heard some scratch noises coming from the live version of "Faith" and its pretty ameteurish at best. He does not participate in the band, he does not get to participate in the fight against the Backstreet Boys. That gives the Backstreet Boys a one-man lead over the Bizkit. Next, Limp Bizkit Guitarist, Wes Borland, may provide excellent guitar for the band's music, but he would be no asset to the band if the shit hit the fan and they came up against the Backstreet Boys, unless they needed someone to call over their boys from korn, and use their help to try to mess up the Backstreet Boys. Wes weighs in at a wopping 130-155 pounds (estimate), and unless the Backstreet Boys get scared from face paint and freakish contact lenses, he can also be excluded from the fight. Fred Durst will not be excluded from the fight however. we all know he is all talk, but the band's frontman must be included. If nothing else, he can talk a whole lot of shit while the Backstreet Boys are laying the smack down. Bassist Sam Rivers and Drummer John Otto look to me like they could handle themselves pretty well in the fight, but in the end, they could not overcome the Boys.

Now the fight is down to 2 Limp Bizkit members fighting, 1 member talking shit, 1 dancing, and 1 member crying and trying to call for help... against the Backstreet Boys.

Now lets look at the Backstreet Boys, I really dont know much about them, but Ill tell you what i know, and how it helps my argument. picture the backstreet boys. when was the last time you saw a bunch of guys wearing the same kind of suit and all chillin together. no, not at a wedding - in pulp fiction or resovoir dogs. and in those movies, those guys messed everybody up. so to the best of my knowledge, the backstreet boys are really hit men, and frankly im not surprised. since they are so obviously hitmen, they must be strapped, and would pop a couple in all of the members of limp bizkit easily, but lets assume that they left their guns at home this particular day of the fight. lets face it, the backstreet boys are pretty boys and the remaining memebers of limp bizkit are pretty grungy, we all know it, but pretty boys fight dirty, grungy guys do not, they usually have too much pride. with this in mind the backstreet boys will use any advantage they can get to win this fight while the guys form limp bizkit will try to look good and fight fair... bad idea. and we all must remember limp bizkit came out of jacksonville (hicks) and the backstreet boys came out of well, some back streets, meaning they are street-wise hood rats that will beat your ass any day of the week and twice on Wednesday.

- with these ideas in mind, i conclude that the backstreet boys would infact win in a fight over the boys from limp bizkit.

i will end this thing that i will loosely call an argument with a skit that i think would closely and accurately resemble a fight between the backstreet boys and limp bizkit.

[Fred durst is on stage singing their hit single "Faith" when suddenly the Backstreet Boys storm out from behind stage and confront the band]

Fred: You gotta have Faith!.. Yo [insert name of venue they are currently playing] Get the fuck up!

{Backstreet Boys enter stage, looking pretty pissed, and look like theyre ready to start some shit, music stops and everyones eyes are on the stage. Wes looks like hes getting nervous already}

A.J: [to Fred] What up bitch, i heard you was talkin all kindsa shit, now whats up, punk?

{Fred looks around nervously, only to see Wes throwing his guitar aside and running off stage to go find someone who can stop all these bad things}

Fred: Oh c'mon man, we're in the middle of a show here, lets talk about this later huh?

Howie: Look, he's scared ese, i think we should slice heem up like the litoo beetch that he is.

{Sam and John of Limp Bizkit sit back and marvel at another mess that they must get Fred out of}

{DJ Lethal of Limp Bizkit continues to dance behind his DJ setup and scratch records. No sound is coming out}

Fred: Yo, hold me back. Im bout to kick these pussies asses!... C'mon guys hold me back.

{Sam and John of Limp Bizkit just look blankly at Fred, and proceed to explain to the Backstreet Boys, that they are not looking for any trouble, and that sometimes Fred just runs off at the mouth, it doesnt mean anything}

{DJ Lethal of Limp Bizkit continues to dance behind his DJ setup and scratch records. No sound is coming out}

Howie: Look ese, they tryin to front like they know me or something. I think that its time they learned what a Backstreet Boy Beatdown is all about.

{Sam and John of Limp Bizkit accept the fact that they must fight the members of the Backstreet Boys}

{Fred Pleads for anybody to hold him back... anybody}

{DJ Lethal continues to dance behind his DJ setup and scratch records. No sound is coming out}

{ the two members of Limp Bizkit prepare themselves for a fair fight}

{Howie slips a small razorblade out of his sock, A.J pulls a lead pipe from out of his jacket, Brian pulls a baseball bat out from behind his back, Kevin lets a metal chain unravel from his hand and drop to the floor, he then proceeds to swing around in a menacing way, Nick stops masturbating to a pornographic gay magazine and pulls a long piece of wire taught around each of his hands.}

Kevin: Now lets see whats up punk!

Nick: Yeah! I'm about to make you my bitch!

{Everyone stares at Nick}

Nick: What?... Uhhhh... Yeah! Lets Just get em!!

{Sam and John do their best to ward off the Backstreet Boys, but they are no match- they are beaten}

{DJ Lethal still continues to dance behind his DJ setup and scratch records. Not one sound has come out yet}

{Now the fight is over...Fred,John,and Sam are badly beaten. Wes is missing...}

{And DJ Lethal is still dancing and scratching records. Not one sound has come out yet. People think he is blind}

{The Backstreet Boys, commence to beat the shit out of Nick for being so very very gay with ... Well, You know...

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now, in conclusion, this argument of mine has nothing to with liking one band more than the other. i enjoy listening to limp bizkit sometimes (*sniff* *sniff*... it makes me feel 'trendy'), and like most people, i am a bit of a closet backstreet boys fan. if i had to choose a favorite it would be the bizkit, but... eh. next week, maybe ill pit another band up against the backstreet boys.